Come Touch The Wonder

Found Metal Fridays

My heavy metal horror novel An Augmented Fourth comes out this June.

To mark the occasion I'm going to bring you '"Found Metal" on Fridays.

Found Metal is pop culture stuff dredged up from the corners of mother internet that aren’t explicitly heavy metal in and of themselves but nevertheless they still possess that unnameable thing that makes something metal. Some things just have that connotation with them and it’s hard to say exactly why. Metal is one of those things that’s impossible to define exactly but you know it when you see it.

This week's found metal is a super gnarly version of perennial art favorite "The Temptation Of Saint Anthony" done by  Joos van Craesbeeck (Hufflepuff House) around 1650.  There's a real Bosch feel coming off it that I like that's mixed with Craesy Bread's own humorous expressions. 

Here's it de-metalled:

Real quick, this is my favorite part of this painting:

Talk about horse feathers...

Talk about horse feathers...

A fucking duck tauntaun?  Get me one of those abominations because I need it.


As stated before depictions of St. Anthony fucking with the devil in the desert were a popular source of inspiration for artists back in the day. Mostly because it was an excuse to paint trippy monstrous shit and all artists love doing this. I don't care if you'e Lisa fucking Frank; you like drawing weird creatures. Actually that's kind of all she does, we just consider it cute for some reason. It's not, it's acid-tinged demon hentai that earthly denizens like us -  unfamiliar with the innermost circles of Hell -  don't recognize yet. 

Here are some other versions of "St. Anthony's One Man Monk Rave" that I liked:

Maybe Lisa Frank will drop her version in my lifetime?

If you got something you think is unintentionally brutal or accidentally scary send that found metal to me via an email and if I use it I'll send you some sort of prize. Hit me up at: