My new heavy metal horror novel An Augmented Fourth comes out this June.
To mark the occasion I'm going to bring you '"Found Metal" on Fridays.
Found Metal is pop culture stuff I’ve dredged up from the corners of my mind and mother internet that aren’t explicitly heavy metal in and of themselves but nevertheless they still possess that unnamable thing that makes something metal. Some things just have that connotation with them and it’s hard to say exactly why. Metal is one of those things that’s impossible to define exactly but you know it when you see it.
Today's found metal is old people
Old people are surprising metal as fuck. Just look at them.
Each one is a grim reminder of the ravages that time has in store for each and every one of us. Also they’re badass. They’re by definition survivors, and the best ones have that “sans fucks” attitude of, "I might die any day so I’m just going to say whatever inappropriate thing worms its way into my noodle."
Old people are the closest thing we have in real life to an Iron Maiden album cover.
If you got something you think is unintentionally brutal or accidentally scary send that found metal to me via an email and if I use it I'll send you some sort of prize. Hit me up at: firstname.lastname@example.org