My new heavy metal horror novel An Augmented Fourth comes out this June.
To mark the occasion I'm going to bring you '"Found Metal" on Fridays.
Found Metal is pop culture stuff I’ve dredged up from the corners of my mind and mother internet that aren’t explicitly heavy metal in and of themselves but nevertheless they still possess that unnameable thing that makes something metal. Some things just have that connotation with them and it’s hard to say exactly why. Metal is one of those things that’s impossible to define exactly but you know it when you see it.
Today we have cannibalistic food mascots. How fucking brutal is that? How perverse and defiant even? How very goddamn metal. You can hear the chugging riffs behind it.
Also, does this ever entice anyone to eat the food product being advertised? Is it supposed to assuage our guilt knowing that the animal wants us to eat it? That it's willing to cut us the first slice? That we're dining on Stockholm Syndrome meat?
Okay, not gonna lie; kind of what some pork chops now. Maybe there's something to it.
Here's some more fun: